No, Fort Collins is NOT Getting a Strip Club Called ‘Sports Authority’
You've just been Punk'd! We actually didn't mean to trick you... it just turns out a lot of people don't know what the word 'satire' means. Let us clear the air here.
Last week, our staff was discussing the empty Sports Authority building on College and Mulberry in Fort Collins. Then, we had a silly idea because, well, we're immature.
We posted the following video:
It turns out, we're very convincing (whip crack). Most people overlooked '[SATIRE]' in our headline, and believed the video to be real, even though we thought our overuse of sound effects would have been a giveaway...
So, what does this six-letter word 'satire' word in our headline mean? Let's pay a visit to our friend Merriam Webster.
In other words, put your single bills back in your wallet, ya perv! Fort Collins has a ban on strip clubs within city limits. The only melons you'll be seeing in this building are the kind you put in a fruit salad. The vacant building is rumored to become a grocery store.
Blame it on our trenchant wit. Our sincere apologies.