Knock It Off Dummies : Don’t Row Tiny Boats Over Whales Edition (Video)

Hey. If you're rowing a boat in the ocean, first of all it better be because you are at a super fancy resort where they have those little rope deals showing you where it's safe to row OR you should be fleeing from the law after a carefully thought out bank heist. Even though if it WERE carefully thought out you probably wouldn't be rowing in the ocean. It;s just a dumb place to row. Row in a lake. Row in a river. Row on one of those machines Frank has in House Of Cards.

If you row in ANY of those other places I mentioned (save maybe Frank's house) you won't get smacked in the face by a whale. Do you know how many whales have wanted to smack us in our stupid faces? ALL OF THEM. Every whale. Ever. They float around with their VW Bug sized lungs making that crazy ass moaning sound and all they're saying is, "Man if I could punch those idiots in their idiot faces."

If whales were floating around us, ogling us, constantly mentioning how crazy our language is, we'd want to smack them in the face too. Of course if we did, they would swallow us and we'd live out our days with the other people inside that whale.

Hey. Don't row over whales.