Sometimes life takes a hard left turn into Awesometown, when you least expect it. When that happens in the middle of a uh...period of sexual freedom, there's going to be some cleanup to do.
There are times in my life (for instance, when in the presence of Andrew W.K.) where I am unspeakably grateful to have a tool in my pocket to document my increasingly-ridiculous life. A couple of weeks ago, I found myself phone-less in the Big Apple for almost an entire week. Things got really weird.
There's so much in the way of world peace that it can sometimes feel like we'll never get there. As humans, we all have opinions and desires that clash with those of others, and our fierce defense of those things often leads to un-bridgeable gaps that divide us, creating conflict. I think I have found one thing we can all agree on, though: Guy Fieri is a hilarious douche.
So I broke it off with someone I really liked a lot three days ago, and then immediately got the flu. I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone. I mean, Happy Valentine's Day! Let me tell you about the weird dream I had last night!
Life advice: Don't drunkenly text a picture like this to your neighbor with some slightly-misspelled version of "I made a bedsheet tent, are you still awake?" unless you love opening big, awkward cans of worms. In other news: I'm thinking about installing a breathalyzer on my phone.