I spent my sixth birthday at Casa Bonita, thinking it was the most magical place ever. The gorilla running wild, the cliff divers, the puppets and that stagnant smell of an indoor waterfall, all in the heart of a Lakewood strip mall! I was raised in the suburbs of Denver, and it's just what you did.

I'm 25 now, and I think my parents are still mad at me for making them go there.

At 18, I returned with my friends just for the novelty of it  -- and we swore absolutely never. Ever. Again.

But then, you hear those dreaded words from your new-to-Colorado pal,

'Will you take me to Casa Bonita?'

They've seen the South Park episode. They've heard about the gorillas and the divers but somehow have not heard that the food makes Taco Bell seem like fine dining and requires a post-consumption week-long cleanse.

Cartman at Casa Bonita from Michael Glass on Vimeo.

So, what do you do now? A) Be a good friend and brave Black Bart's Cave just one more time? Or B) 'Nope nope nope nope nope.'

Ask the flow chart!

Blogger Emma No Problema is a Colorado native who has created this handy (and accurate) flow chart to help you out, because, well, she knows.

Embedded with permission, courtesy Emma No Problema on Facebook.

Should you decide to take your friend... good luck, and only raise that flag for seconds on the sopaipillas.

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